Even the most artful and biting of satirists — say, Jonathan Swift, or Mark Twain — would be dumbfounded at this story, but this isn’t satire at all. It’s just another day in our age of absurdity.
The Daily Mail reported Tuesday that “a Canadian terrorist who burst into a military recruitment service and stabbed soldiers has been given permission to fly to Saudi Arabia and Somalia – even though officials say he ‘continues to pose a significant threat to public safety.’”
They seem to think that the trip will do Ayanle Hassan Ali good, as it will help him become a more devout and observant Muslim, and what could possibly be the problem with that?
This ridiculous comic opera began when Ali “entered the Canadian Forces Recruiting Centre in Toronto in March 2016, and immediately attacked the corporal who was seated at the entrance, repeatedly punching him in the head and using a kitchen knife to slash and stab at the soldier. He then fought off other soldiers who tried to take him down.”
After all this, Ali helpful explained his motivation, telling arresting offers that “Allah told me to do this. “Allah told me to come here and kill people.”
Anyone who thinks Allah would possibly tell anyone to do such a thing must be crazy, right? After all, it’s a religion of peace! And so “in May 2018, Ali was found not criminally responsible on three counts of attempted murder, as well as two counts of assault causing bodily harm, two counts of assault with a weapon and possession of a weapon for a dangerous purpose due to his schizophrenia diagnosis.”
That was eight years ago, however, and now he has fully recovered, and “is planning to go on a pilgrimage to Mecca with his father and meet a potential bride his dad found for him in Somalia on a three-week long trip.” The Daily Mail tells is that “the Ontario Review Board heard earlier this month how Ali, who is Muslim, wants to travel abroad ‘to facilitate a meeting with a woman as his father has been working on arranging a possible marriage with a woman who resides in Somalia.”
The Review Board was as solicitous as it could be of this man who wanted to kill for Allah: “Mr. Ali has advised that this is not uncommon in his culture and the marriage would only proceed if both parties were agreeable. He is hopeful he will be able to travel to Somalia over the upcoming reporting year for an introductory meeting with the woman.” It decided that Ali would be permitted to make the trip.
To be sure, before the Review Board made this decision, Ali’s doctors told him how devout he was in his observance of Islam, as if this were a positive step in his healing process. The doctors stated happily that Ali’s “faith and religious beliefs continue to be very important to him, and he attends his mosque weekly and he prays five times a day.”
Even better, “he and his father have planned for a religious ritual of Umrah pilgrimage to Mecca in Saudi Arabia. Mr. Ali is studying to memorize the Quran and attends the mosque by his father’s house daily to meet with his teacher. He is hopeful that his tutor may assist him in securing a volunteer position at a local school to tutor in math or French.”
The most absurd part of this story, which is riddled with absurdities, is that Canadian officials point to Ayanle Hassan Ali’s devout observance of Islam as an indication that he is turning over a new leaf and rejecting violence. They appear to have been completely uninterested in the fact that he repeatedly invoked Allah as his reason for stabbing the corporal, because they have decided that at the time of the stabbing, he was suffering from a “mental disorder.” But he has put all that behind him now, and look at all the progress he is making: he is memorizing the Qur’an and attending mosque daily! That means that he won’t be violent again, because the true Islam teaches peace — doesn’t it?
Related: What’s a Poor Jihadi to Do?
Note also that the Daily Mail, the worst paper in the Western world (and it’s not close), repeatedly refers to Ayanle Hasan Ali as “Canadian,” despite the fact that Ayanle Hassan Ali himself would almost certainly reject the label and insist that he is only a citizen of the umma, the worldwide Muslim community.
The Mail also informs us in the sixth paragraph of its story that Ali is Muslim, despite having told us in the third paragraph that Allah told him to kill people. This is because in the tiny minds of the Daily Mail’s editors, the god of Islam could never and would never tell anyone to kill people. The Daily Mail doesn’t know and doesn’t care that the Qur’an says “kill them wherever you find them” three times (2:191, 4:89, 4:91, cf. 9:5), and contains numerous other exhortations to violence. It assumes that Islam is peace, and that everyone knows that, and so when this fellow starts insisting that Allah told him to kill, the Daily Mail thinks people are out there scratching their heads and wondering what religion Ayanle Hasan Ali professes. So it duly informs them a few paragraphs down.
Meanwhile, this fellow is on the loose, with his head full of Qur’anic exhortations. What could possibly go wrong?
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