On Nov. 8, 1984 — just two days after Ronald Reagan was reelected in a 49-state landslide — Far Side cartoonist Gary Larson ran a one-panel strip featuring a porcupine mom and a porcupine dad watching their porcupine baby play with a balloon.
The caption simply said, “Well, this shouldn’t last too long.”
And that’s how I see the brand-spanking-new mayor of New York City, Zohran Mamdani, who put his hand on a Quran at 12:01 a.m. last night and was sworn-in. This’ll be the political equivalent of Jake Paul challenging Anthony Joshua in a prizefight, and it’ll end the same way, too.
Mamdani is gonna get knocked on his [arse].
Jake Paul is a charismatic, athletic kid who made millions on YouTube. He then made a few million more with gimmicky “fights” against ex-NBA stars, washed-up UFC contenders, and, most lucratively, a 58-year-old ex-boxer named Mike Tyson.
Against that level of competition, Paul was fine. But when he climbed in the ring against a legit top-five heavyweight like Anthony Joshua — a two-time world champion and a gold medal-winning Olympian — Jake Paul was roadkill.
He lost every round as well as his teeth — when Joshua shattered his jaw in the sixth. Here’s the finale:
There’s an old saying in boxing: The punch that kills you is the one you never see coming. Same rule applies to politics, and give Mamdani his due: He’s highly skilled at scripted events.
There’s a reason he burst out of nowhere, delivered a deathblow to the Cuomo dynasty, and became America’s most famous mayor. He understands new media, communicates magnificently, and sticks like Velcro to his talking points.
As long as he has a script to follow, he does just fine. What he lacks in experience and/or gravitas, he more than makes up for in charisma.
And charisma alone can carry a politician through choppy waters.
But charisma has its limitations. Channeled the wrong way, it comes across as smug, arrogant, and unserious.
The mainstream media ain’t what it once was; like Anthony Joshua, it’s tasted defeat many times. (The truth may hurt, but it’s got a lousy chin.) Even the Old Gray Lady has seen better days. In fact, if the mainstream media was a prizefighter, it’d be slow-footed, overweight, and WAY past its prime.
But if you leave your chin exposed, it’ll 100% still knock you out.
Mamdani is many things, but he’s also a political neophyte without executive experience. And not only is he in New York City — the heartbeat of the mainstream media — but key elements of his new job are, by design, unscripted. Black swan events abound.
And they can’t be addressed with a funny TikTok video.
Plus, the Big Apple is pretty wild. Lots of diverse communities. Lots of sharp elbows.
Lots of potential for crime.
And if there’s one thing the New York City media still does exceptionally well, it’s sensationalizing crime stories. From the Times to the tabloids, it’s part of New York’s DNA. There’s a deep cultural connection, and to this day, everyone in New York can recite their all-time favorite crime headline.
(My favorite: The New York Post’s “Headless Body in Topless Bar.”)
Which means, at some point in 2026, there’ll be a shocking, headline-generating crime spree in New York City. Because of the Big Apple’s demographics, it’s likely that — eventually — the victim will belong to a community that eyes Mamdani with fear and suspicion.
Like, for instance, the Jews.
And if justice doesn’t come swiftly, it won’t take long for Mamdani’s past rhetoric to resurface:
No, we want to defund the police. https://t.co/XJgIKNWnFy
— Zohran Kwame Mamdani (@ZohranKMamdani) June 8, 2020
The New York media will sensationalize the crime, because that’s what they’ve always done. Which will lead to the victimized community protesting on New York’s streets.
Which will lead to counter-protests.
And because Jews are involved, the counter-protests will almost certainly include Palestinian flags, anti-Israel epithets, and calls to “globalize the intifada.” It’ll be the Jews on one side, Muslims (and more) on the other.
And Mamdani’s police department will be caught in the middle
It’s a horrible fit for the new mayor’s skillset: A politician’s lack of gravitas is most apparent during times of crisis. And without a script to recite, Mamdani will be forced to improvise.
If he’s bad at improv, we’ll know it right away.
Because New York City’s mainstream media — competing with itself — will magnify every single misstep.
Mandani’s destruction in 2026 won’t come from his policies. Nor will it come from GOP countermeasures. And for all the hoopla over his socialist ideals, that won’t be his undoing.
Instead, it’ll come from a high-profile crime story — and a political response — that spirals out of control.
It’s his greatest PR vulnerability. And it’s probably inevitable.
Which is why, just like a baby porcupine playing with a balloon, we can watch Mayor Mamdani and say with confidence, “Well, this shouldn’t last too long.”
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