When Rep. Hank Johnson (D-Ga.) sings a song, he truly makes it his own.
Granted, the 10-term congresscritter stretches the meaning of the words “sings” and “song” almost beyond recognition. “Stretched almost beyond recognition” might also apply to his guitar strings.
If you ever wanted to know what a cat feels like when you pet it backwards, it’s the sound made by Johnson’s guitar every time he strums it. Axios reported last week [No, they did not —Editor] that Johnson has his guitars specially tuned by an artisan flown in from Brazil. While his name is unknown, geolocating places him with an Amazon tribe so remote and primitive that they have never seen a guitar. Or invented music. Or discovered hearing.
Johnson was last heard in June, debuting an as-yet-untitled anti-Trump song sung, if only arguably so, to the tune of the Jimi Hendrix classic, “Hey Joe.”
Here’s a refresher performance on the extremely off chance that you wanted one.
Talk about Tone-Deaf messaging!
Democrat Rep. Hank Johnson releases hilariously bad anti-Trump song, and you just have to hear this 😂 pic.twitter.com/2uqSK6Uhm6
— Media Research Center (@theMRC) June 20, 2025
Buckwheat’s classic performance of “Wookin’ Pa Nub” has nothing on Hank Johnson.
Not one to rest on his laurels, Johnson is out this week with another timely adaptation, again recorded for social media in his office. To achieve audio perfection worthy of a Steely Dan “Aja” session, virtually every expense was spared.
Sung quite roughly to the tune of Jason Isbell’s “Dreamsicle,” Rep. Johnson deftly rewrote Isbell’s haunting lyric to express his views on the Jeffrey Epstein controversy.
Here’s the complete lyric to Rep. Johnson’s, ah, song:
Epstein died by suicide
Believe that and you must be blind
You’ve been telling us
You’d release the files
But where are they?
We’ve gone along
With what’s been told
You’ve had plenty of time
You’re in control
But now you say
You will withhold
The Epstein Files
Dreamsicle on a summer night
In a folding lawn chair
Trump’s howling at the moon
Release the Epstein Files soon
Critics split over Johnson’s treatment. Some admire the way Johnson took Isbell’s reflections on a troubled childhood and turned them into a sharp critique of Washington insiders providing cover for a known child molester. Other critics question Johnson’s decision to keep Isbell’s no-longer apropos original line, “Dreamsicle on a summer night / In a folding lawn chair.” The rest covered their ears and chanted, “NAH NAH NAH NAH NAH I CAN’T HEAR YOU.”
I’m a bit more generous than most. I found myself in agreement with X user Ball Diamond Ball when they noted, “Still better than Springsteen.”
So say we all.
Before we get to the clip, one final thought.
In all fairness to Johnson, he did warn in his intro that his singing might cause “an ear ache.” As someone whose singing voice can drop livestock at 200 yards — I’m talking full-grown cattle here, not goats or chickens — I empathize completely. I just don’t sing where people can hear me.
Were only Rep. Johnson so kind.
Georgia Rep. Hank Johnson has now released a song, crooning for the Epstein files to be made public.
We are officially living in the twilight zone. pic.twitter.com/2K6MzsAegW
— Merissa Hansen (@merissahansen17) July 15, 2025
I’m sorry you had to witness that.
Recommended: Meet Newsom’s Best Friends: Convicts, Trafficked Kids, and the Pot Farm That Hired Them
P.S. Thanks so much for reading. If you’d like to join some of the smartest voices on the internet in our Virtually Troll-Free™ comments section — plus access to exclusive essays, podcasts, and video live chats with your favorite writers — consider becoming a VIP member with this 60% off promotion offer. Providing alternative conservative news and commentary ain’t free (but right now, it IS cheap).
