By Marilyn Berkowitz, WLCJ Executive Committee Appointee and Torah Fund Vice Chair, Finances
Delegating is Hard to Do
Don’t take your help away from me
Don’t you make me be in misery
If you go, then I’ll be blue
Delegating’s hard to do
My apologies to Neil Sedaka and his fans.
Cooking for the seder is a BIG job. Hopefully when you’re reading this it’s a happy memory and you’re no longer feeling exhausted. I know that some of you are lucky to have big families where everyone helps. And some of you have passed this on to the next generation. But, I’m the one that still does the cooking for us. (The reasons why are for another time.) So, over the years, I’ve figured out ways to make it easier for me. This year, my daughter, Shari told me that she was going to help me cook. I was thrilled!!! Her spring break (she’s a professor) was right before the holiday, so the timing was great. We planned what days would work and made a list of the things we would cook: brisket, soup, matzah balls and more). I’m not one of those people who can do everything the few days before a holiday. I’ve always cooked beforehand and then freeze things. That’s the only way I’ve been able to do it and still manage to get through the seders.
What about delegating you ask?
We were working on making the matzah balls and Shari was using the ice cream scoop to make the balls. I heard myself saying, “Shari, those are too big. I usually make them a little smaller.” As soon as I said that, alarm bells went off in my head.
I’ve been a consultant for Women’s League for many years now. I’ve done workshops for Sisterhood Affiliates, Regions, at Convention and online. I’ve taught about delegating and how important it is. I’ve shared about letting go and how you need to be able to do that if you want to bring in new people. I know better. But, yet in that moment, I heard myself saying something that I’ve told others not to say. You’re doing something differently and that’s not good.
Like I said, the alarm bells went off. I then said the following to Shari: “I know that I have to do a better job of letting you do things your way so that it’s less work for me and less stressful for both of us. I really do appreciate your help and will try to get better at this. It’ll take me a little while. Please be patient. I love you.” And then we hugged.
We had our happy ending as the matzah balls were yummy! The skills we learn on our Women’s League journey will help us in our personal lives also. It’s a bonus of getting involved with Women’s League.
And to my wonderful daughter, Shari:
Come on, Shari, let’s start anew
Delegating is hard to do
Until we cook again…
Marilyn Berkowitz
WLCJ Executive Committee Appointee and Torah Fund Vice Chair, Finances
mberkowitz@wlcj.org
