Top O’ the Briefing
Happy Tuesday, dear Kruiser Morning Briefing friends. (In preparation for a whirlwind book tour, the Sine Qua Non Sequitur is spending a few weeks sniffing turmeric.)
So many unsavory characters in the Democratic Party to mock, so little time.
Despite being very well-traveled in the United States thanks to stand-up, I have only been to Minnesota once. That trip was just for a weekend and happened almost 15 years ago. I can think of one person I’ve known personally who was born there. The state isn’t really putting itself out there to earn my trust.
What I do know about Minnesota is that it’s cold and full of people who do things that I don’t like. Almost five years ago, I wrote that the United States should look into getting rid of Minnesota. I think we can all agree that my advice should have been heeded.
Minnesota Rep. Ilhan Omar is back in the news, and that’s never a good thing. This is the woman who prompted a rare show of congressional bipartisanship when she first got to Capitol Hill because she is such a raging antisemite. That was in 2019, and she’s only gotten worse since then.
For the longest time, I thought that Omar might be the least stupid of all of the Squad members which, admittedly, is a low bar to clear. Then I saw this in a post from my Twitchy colleague Brett T:
You are one of the dumbest people on earth, my district is literally a majority white district. Your conspiracy theories are laughable and should have no place in a society that cares about facts. https://t.co/FgYEoOVZZk
— Ilhan Omar (@IlhanMN) January 12, 2026
Sure, Tootsie McBrotherwife, the guy who made space travel fun and profitable is dumb. Good luck getting that to stick.
Lots of investigative sunshine is being thrown on the Somali aid fraud scandal in Minnesota, and Omar may want to grab a pair of Ray-Bans and keep them on. This is from David Manney:
By now, I hope most of you have been keeping up with the news out of Minnesota, specifically the investigation of claims involving alleged fraud linked to Somali aid funding.
In Omar’s case, the review includes questions about whether Omar’s husband is financially benefiting from any activity connected to the alleged scheme. Her name has surfaced as authorities assess relationships, funding flows, and oversight responsibility tied to the aid program.
This is all very preliminary, but I think we can agree that there is an inherent sleaze factor associated with all Congressional Democrats. Ethical concerns regarding some of Omar’s past (Wedding bells!) have arisen too. One doesn’t need to overdose on imagination to believe that a massive scandal in Minnesota involving recently-arrived Somalis might, just might, get back to Omar at some point.
Seriously though, for any Minnesotans — past or present — who may be reading this: what’s in the water up there? When did Minnesota go from being a place to icefish to one that elects Keith Ellison, Tim Walz, and Ilhan Omar? Yeah, I know that the Minneapolis mayor is a Grade-A commie loon, but I’m trying to keep this national.
Cautionary tales abound here in the Year of Our Lord 2026, Canada being one of them. One day it looks like they’re free, the next day they’re threatening to arrest people for mean tweets. Some of the Canadian ick seems to be rubbing off on Minnesota. The similarities are striking. Think of Tim Walz as a less macho Justin Trudeau and you’ll see I’m right.
I’m not hoping for the worst in this Ilhan Omar situation; it’s never a comfort to find out that a sitting member of Congress is thoroughly corrupt. However, any weakening of the far, far, far, left of the Democratic Party is a good thing.
Until they find somebody worse, that is.
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Everything Isn’t Awful
Been there.
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— Why you should have a cat (@ShouldHaveCat) January 8, 2026
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You asked, I listened.
13th Century A.D :: Marco Polo From Italy Came to India and Visited Many Cities In South India pic.twitter.com/JQ9gnhVhNp
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The Kruiser Kabana
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Home https://t.co/GxKBWdqNDB pic.twitter.com/cudzCBHx9B
— Elaine de Kooning (@edekooning) January 12, 2026
Kabana Comedy/Tunes
While I love listening to and recording podcasts, I think it’s silly that “Podcasting” is now an awards show category. Also, Amy Poehler’s podcast is pretty much a repetition of the clip being mocked here.
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