At humility, I’m the best! What is the meaning of the virtue of humility? Is it a virtue worth working on in the New Year?
Obviously, we would all like to learn humility from books! That is because humility is most often learned in the real world through humiliation. Unfortunate but true. Strike out with the bases loaded, and you will quickly have to climb down from your high horse. Or get knocked off that high horse like St. Paul, blinded by a bright light on the road to Damascus. The sunlight that brightens the room also exposes the dust that needs cleaning.
In the words of Ralph Kramden, Be kind to the people you meet on the way up because you’ll meet the same people on the way down.
What is humility? The Spanish mystic Teresa of Avila famously said that humility is truth. You are not humble when you say you are not good at something you really are good at, or when you don’t use the gifts God has given you. That’s not truth but pride. Charles Dickens’ character Uriah Heep was a perfect caricature of such false humility.
What is universally true is that we all have feet of clay in this area. No exceptions. Pride dies about an hour after the heart stops beating.
Praying rightly is a start. God is God. You are not. The Gospel tells the story of the two men entering the temple to pray. One prayed, “I thank thee, God, that I am not like the rest of men, who steal and cheat and commit adultery, or like this publican here.”
Jesus continued the parable, “The publican stood far off; he would not even lift up his eyes towards heaven; he only beat his breast, and said, God, be merciful to me; I am a sinner.”
Our pride may not be so obvious. We are cleverer than that. But at various times, we play both parts in that story.
If we look at ourselves, honestly examining our conscience before bed each night, we at least have a running start at self-knowledge. We get to play the role of the prodigal son again and again. Confession is good for the soul.
And the good fruit of this is peace. “Take my yoke upon yourselves, and learn from me. I am gentle and humble of heart, and you shall find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”
Related: The Monster and the Method: How to Set New Year’s Resolutions That Actually Work
Life on earth is a warfare, not against others but against ourselves. We have met the enemy, and he is us. But pride can only be attacked indirectly since it insinuates itself into all aspects of life. Humility is also practiced only as we cultivate other virtues and struggle against other vices. Unless we practice virtue with a right intention, pride steps in to ruin it.
After 50 years of hearing confessions, Josemaria Escriva wrote the following blunt advice that can help families seeking to build a happy life together.
Allow me to remind you that among other evident signs of a lack of humility are:
- Thinking that what you do or say is better than what others do or say;
- Always wanting to get your own way;
- Arguing when you are not right or — when you are — insisting stubbornly or with bad manners;
- Giving your opinion without being asked for it, when charity does not demand you to do so;
- Despising the point of view of others;
- Not being aware that all the gifts and qualities you have are on loan;
- Not acknowledging that you are unworthy of all honor or esteem, even the ground you are treading on or the things you own;
- Mentioning yourself as an example in conversation;
- Speaking badly about yourself, so that they may form a good opinion of you, or contradict you;
- Making excuses when rebuked;
- Hiding some humiliating faults from your [spiritual] director, so that he may not lose the good opinion he has of you;
- Hearing praise with satisfaction, or being glad that others have spoken well of you;
- Being hurt that others are held in greater esteem than you;
- Refusing to carry out menial tasks;
- Seeking or wanting to be singled out;
- Letting drop words of self-praise in conversation, or words that might show your honesty, your wit or skill, your professional prestige…
- Being ashamed of not having certain possessions…
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