Ah, the theatre of the absurd.
Just when one thinks the fellow working the curtain is shaking the chains in the wings, the audience is beginning to gather their things and leave, and the lights are edging up?
The misbegotten cast throws another act at you as the second chorusline streams onstage, while you sink back into your seat and wonder ‘Will this misery never end?‘
The first, nascent indications of a growing woke movement ebb tide seem to be in evidence nearly everywhere, which has given rise to irrational and premature exuberance in some quarters that it is washing out to sea at long last.
There’s something in England called The Royal Yachting Association. What started out quite as snootily as it sounds in 1875 as a yacht racing association has morphed into basically the governing body for UK boating watersports.
Set up in 1875 as the Yacht Racing Association, the RYA has become the National Governing Body for a broad range of sailing and boating activities.
We are a membership organisation with over 100,000 members, and a world-leading provider of training schemes and publications. In 2025 we celebrate our 150th anniversary and are immensely proud of our lasting heritage. However, we must continue working to ensure that we, the sport, and pastimes we love, remain relevant, thriving, and accessible to everyone.
They’re celebrating their 150th anniversary this year.
Quite a lovely little video they put together, too.
[Required Disclaimer: I am MAD for sailing stories, have read every Hornblower at least 8 times, have most of Patrick O’Brian’s Aubrey/Maturin series, can recite every line from the 1951 Gregory Peck ‘Captain Horatio Hornblower,’ and there are, like, three different versions of ‘Master and Commander’ in the BluRay cabinet.]
Cherishing and building on a storied past heavy with tradition is a weighty responsibility, and, well…sometimes the folks on watch at the time just aren’t up to telling the helmsman to turn to starboard for a course correction as the vessel begins to list to port.
It seems such is the case with the RYA.
For some reason, and so late in the politically correct/woke game, they’ve decided to go hard a-lee on revamping traditional sailing terminology.
AHOY THERE…NON-BINARY PERSONS!
‘Man overboard’ is offensive term, says Royal Yachting Association
Inclusive language guide ‘honours and values’ women and non-binary people within sailing
And…they’re serious.
…The national governing body for sailing, which was founded in 1875, has suggested that it should instead be replaced with “person in water” in an inclusive language guide.
It is one of a number of recommendations issued by the RYA to use language that “honours and values” women and non-binary people within the sport and recreational activity.
The guide suggests that while “man overboard” is an important phrase to “raise the alarm where a person has fallen overboard to initiate the emergency procedures”, outside of these situations the term “person in water” is recommended.
Critics said the language guidance was “balderdash” that would have seafarers and sailors from previous eras “turning in their graves”.
Much easier to spin in a watery grave, you know, which is just as well, because these are ridiculous.
Not a single one improves on the efficacy of getting your point across in as few syllables as possible without mistaking your meaning.
…Another term the RYA tells its members to avoid is “seamanship”, with people told to use “boat handling”, “navigation”, “deck work” or “maintenance” as replacements.
The guide also recommends using the word “sporting behaviour” instead of “sportsmanship” as it “might not be comfortable for a person who recognises themselves to be a woman or non-binary”.
As you might imagine, the one you’d need to spit out the fastest with the least confusion, as someone is drowning and possibly being left far behind as the boat carries forward, is the one they want you to spend the most time saying.
As you all can well imagine, the first thing I ‘always think of’ is my language, too.
(Just ask Ed.)
‘When you’re reaching for a rubber ring, the first thing you think of isn’t your language.’@CamillaTominey amusingly reacts to the Royal Yachting Association’s new guidance on language, saying to stop using ‘man overboard’. pic.twitter.com/oEjzGjGoaK
— GB News (@GBNEWS) September 14, 2025
Above all things, we must be performatively inclusive before we are literally helpful, or the person will throw the rubber ring back at you right before they go under.
Or the ‘person on the winch’ will refuse to budge a winch.
And then, either way, it’s your fault, you know. Hater.
…Some additional banned terms include “Seamanship”, “Chairman” and “Mother duties”.
…The Royal Yachting Association guide states: “Some language in sailing and boating environments might not value or represent people who identify as female or prefer gender neutral terms.
It added: “For a long time, some terminology focused on the male perspective of being involved in sailing and boating.
“As the representation of people identifying as female or non-binary has increased within our sport and recreation, it’s important that the language that we use honours and values them too.”
Two crew member roles, “winchman” or “grinder”, should be replaced with “person on the winch” or “winchperson”, according to guidance.
As if that wasn’t enough insanity from the British ruling classes, the Telegraph article had a teeny, intriguing nugget at the end which I must now track down.
…Aside from sailing terms, the RYA recommends its members “steer clear from using terms such as ‘Christian name’ as this is not representative of all religions and beliefs”.
The term BAME [black, Asian and minority ethnic] is also cited as “exclusionary” in the guide because it does not take into account white ethnic groups such as Romany or gipsy travellers, as well as the inclusion of “Asian” in the definition “not fully respecting the differing cultures within the continent”.
It comes as Spelthorne borough council came under fire for suggesting that the word “manpower” is an offensive term, with “staffing” suggested as an appropriate alternative.
City St George’s, University of London, was also criticised for providing trigger warnings for “taboo” depictions of cannibalism in its vampire fiction module.
‘Taboo’ depictions of cannibalism in a college’s ‘vampire fiction module‘?
I obviously went to the wrong community college.
BEEGE OVERBOARD FOR CANNIBAL COLLEGE VAMPIRES
Headed to the library – no ring fling necessary, thank you.
I’m a good sport with one helluva dog paddle.
