“This will be FUN!” So said President Donald Trump about the upcoming Texas Senate race after Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton defeated Sen. John Cornyn in the GOP primary runoff.
Paxton will square off against Democratic nominee James Talarico in what may turn out to be the most expensive U.S. Senate race ever. It’ll certainly be as grand, wild, and tasty as the Texas State Fair.
Democrats want that seat in Texas more than Nancy Pelosi wants insider stock tips. More than Chris Van Hollen wants margaritas with criminal illegal aliens. More than Jill Biden wanted to stay first lady.
They’ve been begging for Paxton to be the nominee over Cornyn, thinking a MAGA guy with a few splotches of dirt on his resume is easier pickin’s than the statesman-looking RINO. Of course, they wished for the same thing in 2016 with Trump. Ask Jeb Bush about that … if you can find him.
But here’s why the race is going to be fun. If you went into a lab to create the embodiment of everything that is anti-Texan, you’d come up with James Talarico.
He’s No Big Tex
Texans are big, brash, and bold, with a swagger born of taming the prairie. Think the late Democratic Gov. Ann Richards. Or Lyndon Johnson. Or even the late Democratic congresswoman Sheila Jackson Lee.
Talarico? He makes Beto O’Rourke look like Sam Houston.
Trump compared Talarico to the Mad magazine character Alfred E. Neuman. More like Pee-wee Herman … if you pumped Pee-wee with estrogen.
Democrats would have been better off nominating Rep. Jasmine Crockett. She may be obnoxious and—as the Daily Signal’s Tyler O’Neil recently observed after being subjected to an “unhinged” Crockett tirade—using congressional hearings as therapy, but she is colorful, occasionally clever, and plays loud and large in the grand Texas tradition.
But alas, the party that calls Republicans racist and sexist threw her over for a guy so white you can do a color-balance test on his face.
Rejecting the Holy Quad
Let me tell you what I learned living in the Lone Star State for a decade. Texas embraces the Holy Quad. (Being Texas, the state just had to go one step bigger than that old-time religion.)
- God
- Country
- Football
- Barbecue
Where does Talarico stand on these?
God: He thinks God is nonbinary, the Bible advocates for abortion, and the Almighty is kosher with chopping healthy body parts off His precious children.
Country: He thinks “most are conflicted” by the American flag. The only conflict Texans have over the American flag is when your business has a bigger American flag than my business next door. It’s the only state where American flags are measured not in square feet but hectares.
Football: He’d happily let football players play girls’ sports.
Barbecue: He’s a vegan. He has boasted about running an all-vegan campaign. Banning meat in a campaign in Texas? That’s like banning sunshine in a race in Arizona.
Oh, sure. He’s now been photographed eating barbecue ribs. With the ribs wrapped in a paper towel. Imagine someone running for office in New York City eating pizza pie with a knife and fork. Automatic DQ. Talarico looks as clumsy as a steer doing the Achy Breaky at Gilley’s.
When it comes to the Holy Quad, Talarico is 0-4. And Democrats think he’s going to win? A ’78 Pontiac is more likely to win at the Texas Motor Speedway.
Rejecting the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit
The Pride flag is closer to Talarico’s heart than the “Come and Take It” flag. He’d rather remember Stonewall than the Alamo.
Talarico pitches himself as a minister, which would fit in a horror flick where the creepy minister keeps kids locked in a stone dungeon. Or, more on point, pushes them to have their genitals and breasts chopped off. “Texas Chainsaw Massacre” has nothing on “Texas Sex-Change Surgery on Minors.”
But aside from the abomination of using the Bible to justify the slaughter of the innocent unborn, insisting there are six sexes and that God is gender-fluid, as The Daily Wire reports, Talarico and his St. Andrew’s Presbyterian Church push gay-themed books on children. Books like “This Book Is Gay,” with its chapter on “ins and outs of gay sex,” and “All Boys Aren’t Blue,” which discusses anal rape and incest.
And then there’s transgender indoctrination. “Our trans community needs abortion care, too,” he actually said from the pulpit … before it burst into flames. (I wish.) He describes women as “our neighbors with a uterus.”
The church library includes “Trans Kids, Our Kids: Stories and Resources from the Frontlines of the Movement for Transgender Youth” and “Called OUT: The Voices and Gifts of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgendered Presbyterians.” Not exactly St. Augustine or C.S. Lewis.
Talarico was asked what he loves other than family and friends; he answered, “trans children.” At the time, Talarico was fighting a Texas law against child sex-change operations. Mutilation as love? Creepy.
Now that he’s in the general election, Talarico is trying to slither away from some of his past statements. As the Daily Signal reported, Talarico told CBS he’s made comments that “missed the mark.”
“I know there are two sexes, men and women,” he said. “I also know there’s a very small percentage of people who have these chromosomal abnormalities, and I believe they deserve to be treated with dignity and respect.”
Talarico’s going to tap-dance around his San Francisco radicalism in a state that favors the Boot Scootin’ Boogie. However, in Paxton, Talarico has an opponent who will hold his feet to the fire like brisket over a pit. Already during his victory speech Tuesday, Paxton labeled Talarico as “Talafreako,” “Tofu Talarico,” and “Low T Talarico.”
So saddle up, cowboys and cowgirls. The Senate race between Talarico and Paxton will, as Trump said, “be FUN.” Because what could be more fun—and more Texan—than a duel between a Texan and an anti-Texan?
We publish a variety of perspectives. Nothing written here is to be construed as representing the views of the Daily Signal.
