Well, it looks like painter didn’t work out as a career. Why not cage-fighting?
This is, at least, the newest proposed grift that fount of not-inconsiderable shammery, Hunter Biden. The former first son, who was recently declared “impecunious” (broke, for you Democrats) by his own lawyers in court despite that flourishing art career he’d embarked on, now says that he wants to get into some kind of mixed martial arts brawl with the Trump kids on a YouTuber’s live tour.
Given my experience with the man and his tendency to create news that is both bad and bizarre all at once, there are very few sentences I’d ever thought I’d never, ever be typing regarding Hunter Biden, and that last one actually happens to be one of them.
Props, I guess.
The former first son posted the video on Thursday, saying that he was going to be touring with social media personality Andrew Callaghan. He’s already sat down for an interview with the personality last summer, which produced this this all-time banger of a clip:
Hunter Biden reminisces on how fun his crack addiction was: “People think of crack as being dirty. It’s the exact opposite.” pic.twitter.com/4gmplCXdej
— TheBlaze (@theblaze) July 21, 2025
I mean, what could possibly go wrong with a redux of this combination, right?
Callaghan, according to his website, “is bringing his chaotic and insightful universe to the stage” on a tour called “All Gas No Brakes.” I’ve never been in rehab or to a Narcotics Anonymous meeting because I don’t have the same demons Hunter does, but I suspect that if I did and I told my counselor and/or sponsor I was going joining a social media influencer on a tour described thusly, I’d be sat down for a long talk. But again, I stress that I don’t know how these arrangements work.
Somehow — somehow! — this gets even crazier, as Hunter posted a video to TikTok promoting his participation in said tour, as well as what form that participation might take.
“I think he’s trying to organize a cage match, me versus Eric and Don Jr.,” Hunter said, referring to the two eldest Trump sons.
“I told him I’d do it — 100 percent in — if he can pull it off. And if he can’t, I’m still coming.”
Hunter Biden announces that he wants to do a cage match with Don Jr. and Eric Trump.
You couldn’t pay me enough to be near whatever is coursing through Hunter’s veins.
(channel5tiktok on TT) pic.twitter.com/nkhLJacF6F
— Paul A. Szypula 🇺🇸 (@Bubblebathgirl) April 9, 2026
If that doesn’t happen (spoiler alert: It won’t) he promised that Callaghan “will have a lot of other surprises up his sleeve.”
To be fair, Hunter has at least some reason to believe that cage-fighting first sons isn’t a bad idea, at least on his end.
First off, he’s already suffered all the brain damage he’s going to need in this life, so it’s not like he’s putting something on the line here.
Secondly, his avenues for other remunerative employment are, um, bleak. He was a lawyer and political consultant of various stripes before his history with drugs and sex workers became his calling card, but those avenues were always tied to a peculiar degree to his father’s areas of influence, which have been reduced to zero.
This was also true with his subsequent napkin-doodling career, otherwise referred to by friendly media sources as “artwork.” The only people who bought that — literally and figuratively — were apparently Democrats who had every reason to get in with his father.
He tried his hand as a memoirist, but his frank description of his drug use in the book actually helped make the case he was guilty of a crime by lying on a federal gun purchase application form about being a drug addict at the time he got the firearm. So writing’s out, too.
Also, I’m guessing taking up laptop repair might bring up some bad vibes from the olden times.
And therein lies the problem: Hunter’s kind of hard up for cash right now, shocker of shockers.
Despite taking in $1.5 million in the early years of the Biden administration, the New York Post reported, March documents filed by Hunter’s lawyers basically say he’s broke and living abroad, which I’m sure has nothing to do with the fact that being on another continent does make it harder for creditors to reach you.
(It’s unclear where he’s residing at the moment — although he’s been spotted with his wife and their young son in the country of her birth, South Africa, with the Secret Service in tow.)
“Neither we nor our client know the ultimate amount owed,” Hunter’s current lawyers said in the March filings, which were in response a suit from Hunter’s former lawyers over the fact that he hasn’t paid them. (It cannot be emphasized enough just how much of this stuff belies parody.)
“Our client is impecunious,” wrote Hunter’s present lawyer, Barry Coburn, in response to the suit filed by the firm of Abbe Lowell, Hunter’s former high-powered Washington attorney. “We have not engaged a billing consultant or forensic accountant to review the bills, just as we have not engaged an e-discovery vendor. We cannot afford it.”
That’s indeed a toughie. If the Trump kids won’t accept the offer, maybe Abbe Lowell will agree to a cage-match to settle the bill? Merely a thought.
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