READ THE ROOM — 20 GOP Morons Sign Onto Bipartisan Amnesty Bill – PJ Media

April 9, 2026

Top O’ the Briefing

Happy Thursday, dear Kruiser Morning Briefing friends. The itinerant alpaca groomer Hüugbluütz was known countywide for his seemingly inexhaustible supply of Junior Mints.

Here we go again. Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to another Republican Party edition of “With Friends Like These, Who Needs Enemies?” Just when you think that it’s safe to vote Republican because President Trump is leading the charge as the head of the party, you find that he hasn’t yet been able to give a spine or a brain to everyone.

My thoughts on congressional bipartisanship are well-chronicled, but are worth repeating when things like this happen. I’ve never been a fan of it, for one big reason. Historically, Republicans in Congress have treated bipartisanship as a 30/70 proposition, with the Democrats always getting the 70 percent share. As soon as I see the phrase “bipartisan legislation,” I know it’s a sucker bet for the GOP, and usually for the American people as well.

Prior to the Trump era, it was just plain stupid for Republicans to do the bipartisan dance. Now, with the Democrats in the throes of Trump Derangement Syndrome, most bipartisan efforts are inexcusable. To throw in with Democrats on any sort of immigration legislation at this point in history is flat-out unconscionable.

It’s beyond belief that this is happening, but it is. This is from my Townhall colleague Joseph Chalfant:

A contingent of House Democrats and Republicans have banded together to advance an amnesty bill that they definitely want you to think is not actually an amnesty. 20 Republicans so far have joined in as co-sponsors on the bill, betraying the agenda of the Trump administration and the will of the electorate.

Joseph’s post has a list of the 20 brain-dead turncoat Republicans who have signed onto this legislative madness. If you’re in the angry phone call or email mood, that’s a good place to start.

The first big hint that this bill is bad news is the fact that the official name of it is the “DIGNIDAD” act. Opting for the Spanish version of “dignity” is pretty much just a big middle finger to anyone who is truly concerned about border security.

The bill’s Republican co-sponsor is Florida Rep. María Elvira Salazar. Earlier in the week, Rep. Salazar got into an online argument over the true nature of the bill with Texas Republican Rep. Brandon Gill, which my Townhall colleague Amy Curtis covered. Salazar was very confrontational and condescending to Gill, telling him to read the bill before he opened his mouth. Someone took her up on the challenge, which Amy shared in her post:

So, I did exactly what you asked and I sat down and read ALL 261 pages of your bill.

It does support mass amnesty and I’ll tell you exactly where:

Pages 162-170… The Dream Act:

You grant conditional lawful permanent resident status to ILLEGAL ALIENS who:

>Have been…

— Matt Van Swol (@mattvanswol) April 8, 2026

Like every sponsor of every “bipartisan” immigration bill in recent memory, Salazar is lying about amnesty. It basically grants permanent resident status to any illegal alien who can manage to hang around for a while without getting deported. That’s right, sports fans, the longer they’re successful at breaking the law, the greater the reward.

ICE and Border Patrol agents have been facing angry mobs and death threats for trying to do their jobs, and Republicans are linking arms with the people who have been ginning up those mobs. It’s a slap in the face to the agents, President Trump, and the law-abiding citizens of the United States. In what way, shape, or form does a Republican congresswoman from Florida think that this represents her constituents?

As I said in the headline, read the room, you idiot squish Republicans. Your weakness is pathetic, and your complicity in this amnesty scheme is decidedly un-American. May you all be ushered back into the private sector as quickly as possible.

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The Mailbag of Magnificence

Let’s start with this from Liz:

Kruiser, I enjoy the Morning Briefing with my coffee so much that I upped the experience by getting a fancy milk frother. I had to do a little research to find out about the lesbian+Subaru connection. Apparently it was a deliberately directed ad campaign in the 1990s. I guess I was too busy working and happily married to notice. Anyway, I’ve had 3 Subarus and they were all great cars, with me selling the 2007 Outback after 17 years to a kid who needed a reliable ride for work. I still see it around town.

First, let me congratulate you on being the last straight woman in America to ever drive a Subaru, Liz. That’s quite an accomplishment, and I feel that it deserves a certificate or something. Second, if we ever do Morning Briefing merchandise, you’ve got me thinking that a fancy milk frother should be in the mix.

Thank you so much for being a regular!

JJ, the male Subaru driver, writes:

Your comment about Gavin and a Subaru made me chuckle. Mind is filthy from driving on Forest Service roads to/from the gun range. My “tools” fit nicely in it. It works well enough in snow, rain and mud. Separate issue: when is Tucson going to be saved? Or, is that now impossible?

I should take this opportunity to let the people at Subaru know that I have nothing against their vehicles. If they would like to sponsor the Briefing and give me one to drive, I would be thrilled to represent the brand. As for my beloved hometown, it wandered too far to the left in the years that I was away and is lost forever. Most of my fellow right-wing nutjobs have moved up to Marana or Oro Valley. I’m staying in the heart of Proggieville, though. I’ve got eight taprooms within a mile of my house.

This is from Jeff:

Dear Mr. Kruiser, Your description of the Noose’ems sure makes them sound just like SNL’s Coneheads. Is life imitating art again?

Thank you! I’m pretty sure that’s what I was trying to picture when I wrote about them being aliens.

We’ll finish with this from Michael:

Kruiser, Seibel has indeed appeared all over the place recently. Perhaps she thinks she’s helping. What I am realizing is one of them coached the other on the art of poor gesticulation during public speaking. But if they keep it up, one or both of them are going to smack themselves right in the kisser. However – I have never heard anyone remark about the famous Covid-era photos of the lovely couple at The French Laundry. Seible appears to be wearing her bathrobe! Or perhaps her grandmother’s bathrobe? Or maybe she stole a robe from one of the few homeless women in Yountville. As for Gavin, his Hugh Hefner Signature Smoking Jacket was probably at the dry cleaners. Go back in the archives and check it out.

Although I try to mentally block out all things COVID, I will go back and take a look at this. Honestly, I was barely aware of Mrs. Partner until these trainwreck old clips of her started showing up in the past couple of weeks. I would like to reiterate that I have no proof that she’s a witch.

I also don’t have any proof that she isn’t.

There was a lot of email activity yesterday. I’ll hold some of them in reserve in case it slows down tomorrow and over the weekend. Let’s hope it doesn’t, though. Thanks again, everyone!

Everything Isn’t Awful

Now I want dragon fruit.

You didn’t need a video of a baby monkey eating dragon fruit but here you go pic.twitter.com/lVkjT8sol4

— Nature is Amazing ☘️ (@AMAZlNGNATURE) April 7, 2026

The Kruiser Kabana

Kabana Gallery

A Birch Grove. Spots of sunlight #artbots #kuindzhi pic.twitter.com/MeVRXoO50m

— Arkhip Kuindzhi (@artistkuindzhi) April 8, 2026

Kabana Comedy/Tunes

One of my favorite dumb songs.

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