Okay. It’s Friday.
Let’s end on an absolutely hilarious note.
Emmanuel Macron.
This twee, tiny tyrant has spent the better part of two days LARPing as if he were someone from a country that meant something a long, long time ago, royally entertaining an equally ineffectual non-entity as himself, all while playing Age of Empires for the cameras at his fancy office.
With hugs, kisses, and much clasping of hands, the two main co-conspirators got together to try to take over the world, much as Pinky and the Brain used to do every Saturday.
Considering they would have as much success with world domination as the cartoon mice they resemble, the two settled for a shot at the Strait of Hormuz, since it seems Donald Trump was almost finished cleaning that waterway out of nasty characters and floating things that go BOOM! Almost safe enough for a European to stick a toe in the water.
Their posing for effect did not go unremarked.
The problem these two have is the entire world knows they and their countries are political and military pygmies, incapable of moving events on the world stage.
WWII was a long time ago. https://t.co/N4d0GnIwoj
— Shipwreckedcrew (@shipwreckedcrew) April 17, 2026
Trump had announced the Iranians were going to hand over uranium and that the Strait was completely open, but the Iranians pulled one of their patented ‘not so fasts’ just as everyone rushed for the exits. Most ships hit the brakes and did 180s.
Ships have aborted their passage through the Strait, probably due to warninga from Iran and the IRGC.
There is a large congregation of ships forming off Khasba, very near the southern portion of the Strait.
Definitely something to watch. https://t.co/fNDNSpEz7Q pic.twitter.com/VYUH0GXPk7
— Sal Mercogliano (WGOW Shipping) 🚢⚓🐪🚒🏴☠️ (@mercoglianos) April 17, 2026
With one bold exception.
I’m not sure what to make of this. A cruise ship is zooming through the Strait of Hormuz pic.twitter.com/ARm6pIsOLZ
— Josh Young (@JoshYoung) April 17, 2026
Captain Stubing and The Love Boat would not be denied, nor were they willing to wait on the French and British navies to arrive…whenever that might be.
These two are on the job, I’m just a little confused whose boats Starmer is going to borrow to keep up his end of the agreement.
🚨 Starmer Announces Bold Mission to Reopen Strait of Hormuz… After Iran and Trump Just Declared It Open
Starmer’s masterplan: “We will lead a multinational mission to open the Strait of Hormuz.”
Iran & Trump just announced it’s already fully open today 😂
Brilliant timing,… pic.twitter.com/TG38DjLDKn
— Skint Eastwood (@Skint_Eastwood1) April 17, 2026
And like the glory hounds they are, the two sniveling turncoats are planning on cutting out the country that’s done all of the work, while ridding the world of the Iranian nuclear threat, and actually sending the mullahs’ navy to the briny depths, never more to harass or harry travelers and shipping.
Sir Keir Starmer and Emmanuel Macron are cutting Donald Trump out of plans to patrol the Strait of Hormuz once the war against Iran is over.https://t.co/dt8XBYaxU7
— wretchardthecat (@wretchardthecat) April 17, 2026
Of course, none of these craven Euro cowards can or would do a thing until it’s ‘safe’ and the only country that can make the Strait ‘safe’ is, well, us.
Sir Keir Starmer and Emmanuel Macron are cutting Donald Trump out of plans to patrol the Strait of Hormuz once the war against Iran is over.
The two leaders are piecing together a coalition of mostly European countries in a similar alliance to the French and British-led “coalition of the willing” nations working on Ukraine.
The idea is to send mine-sweeping and other vessels to clear the shipping lane and give companies the confidence to use the strait once the fighting is finished.
And the two of them insist on sucking up to the Iranians in anything they do, which immediately reinstates Tehran’s power over the Strait.
Geniuses.
…“The mission we are referring to could only be deployed once calm has been restored and hostilities have ceased,” Jean-Noël Barrot, the French foreign minister, said.
He added that the coalition would coordinate with countries on the strait, including Iran, which could mean the mission would only go ahead with Tehran’s blessing.
There was a wrinkle thrown into the brilliant plan from a surprising quarter. Skeletor, also known as German Chancellor Friedrich Merz, isn’t a fan.
Germany and France are at odds over whether to cut Donald Trump out of patrolling the Strait of Hormuz once the war in Iran ends ⤵️https://t.co/TDilk1eMuO pic.twitter.com/bv8yFFBC0j
— The Telegraph (@Telegraph) April 17, 2026
Merz is also kind of miffed at the little French guy assuming he’s in charge and excluding everyone he doesn’t like at the moment.
Germany and France are at odds over whether to cut Donald Trump out of patrolling the Strait of Hormuz once the war in Iran ends.
Before a summit to draw up plans for a naval coalition to reopen the waterway, Friedrich Merz, the German chancellor, insisted he wanted to “discuss the participation of US armed forces” in the mission.
Emmanuel Macron, the French president, however, wants to exclude “belligerent countries” – the United States, Israel and Iran – from any deployment.
…This is highlighted by the splits between Paris and Berlin over whether to include American forces in any final deployment to the region.
“There are good arguments in favour of it,” Mr Merz told a Berlin news conference on Thursday while discussing a joint European-US mission.
German officials are often hesitant to move on military matters without being in lockstep with the Americans.
…To some allies, France is attempting to wrestle control of the leadership.
Mr Macron has rejected Sir Keir’s plan to invite Mark Rutte, the Nato chief, and Ursula von der Leyen, the European Commission’s president, to the talks.
The Gallic tiny tyrant in Macron surfaces the second it has a chance.
In the meantime, it’s all big talk and little do from the Europeans – basically the same thing they do every time.
Leaving it to the Americans to handle everything.
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