For the third time in this iteration of the Donald Trump administration, we’ve had a series of astroturfed “No Kings” protests.
The good news is that they worked. Friday will mark 91,232 days in America since we stopped having a king. Without these purple-haired retiree holdovers from the “Give Peace a Chance” era, we might have ended that streak. Phew. It remains intact.
The bad news is that, like the two “No Kings” shindigs before them, the March 28 mobilization has already been mostly forgotten about, because it was mostly forgettable. In fact, “Hands Across America” seems to have had more of a lasting impact, and I’m not even sure what the heck that was supposed to do. But I can say the same thing about “No Kings,” and that didn’t even happen four weeks ago, much less 40 years ago.
But it gave us moments like this:
The jokes write themselves.
“My dog is smarter then Trump.”
Bless her heart. pic.twitter.com/Z32RRWgxuQ
— ThePersistence (@ScottPresler) March 29, 2026
Tell me you don’t know history without telling me how you fell asleep during the lessons on the Reign of Terror. pic.twitter.com/ZtNEPnjdt4
— Miss Belle (@BelleDreamer7) March 29, 2026
Yeah, though: Otherwise forgettable. I give you Cherelle Parker, who seems to have forgotten about it. This is a problem because she’s the mayor of Philadelphia, and she spoke at one of these rallies, albeit through video.
According to Philadelphia-centric independent site Eastside Online, “she asked protesters to stay up to date on local news, protect their immigrant neighbors, and understand their rights.”
But yes: No kings! A few weeks later, however, she decided that acting like a queen was perfectly fine if you’re the mayor of Philadelphia.
Parker, as you might not be surprised to learn, is a Democrat — and, although she’s not one of the more progressive examples of the sort that run large cities like left-wing fiefdoms, she’s running a deficit, as big Democrat-run metropolises do tend to.
Her response to the $300 million budget gap is — and, I know you’ll never believe this — a tax, this one on rideshare companies like Uber and Lyft, announced during a Wednesday press conference.
“The presser occurred a month after Parker announced an initial proposal to tax rideshares in Philadelphia at 20 cents per ride as part of her $6.9 billion city budget plan for 2027. Under her initial plan, the tax would generate $9.6 million per year for the School District of Philadelphia,” WCAU reported.
“During another announcement on March 23, however, Parker amended her initial proposal and said she was increasing the tax to $1 per ride. According to Parker, the increase would generate $48 million and combined with an additional $2.4 million from an existing real estate tax would lead to $50.4 million in new recurring revenue for the school district.”
However, as the local Philly NBC affiliate pointed out, rideshare companies said they were simply going to pass the costs on to the customers. Like all attempts to tax massive corporations, this will probably end in some sort of self-own, in other words.
This led to a very monarchy-tastic rant from Mayor Parker:
She marched at “No Kings” 2 weeks ago https://t.co/20RjosGlwx
— End Wokeness (@EndWokeness) April 16, 2026
The full quote, from WCAU: “The city of San Francisco, the home of Uber and Lyft, they’ve had a rideshare tax since 2020,” Mayor Parker said Wednesday.
“So wait a minute. This is 2026, the industry, it’s thriving, it’s bustling, and we’re excited about business thriving and bustling in the city of Philadelphia. We are open for business here. But how dare you tell me, as mayor of this city, to tell the people in this city, that we cannot and should not enact what is one of the most limited powers that we have? And that is to decide how we will drive revenue to the School District of Philadelphia.”
But yes, how dare you tell her, as mayor, what the consequences of her policies will be? “Sentence first — verdict afterwards,” the Queen of Hearts famously said in “Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland.”
In “Cherelle’s Adventures in Philly,” it’s apparently benefit first — unintended consequences afterwards. And as for you corporate behemoths? Off with your heads if you pass on those costs! How dare you tell her, as mayor, how this will very obviously end?
A friendly reminder, Mayor Parker: We did away with kings over poorly designed taxes from leaders well removed from the consequences of them. Even in a city where we declared independence from that king all those 91,232 days ago, you can’t remember that big march about “monarchs” 20 days ago.
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