So, in case you haven’t been following California Gov. Gavin Newsom — and heaven knows, you should try to avoid it if you can until he starts running for president in earnest — he’s still doing that whole impersonating-Donald-Trump-on-social-media thing where he writes posts all in caps like a smart aleck.
Someone on his campaign staff thinks it’s funny. I’m assuming Newsom must be in on it, even though he’s told us he can’t really read. (Another real thing that’s happened these past few months in Newsom-dom, for those of you who can avoid Patrick Bateman: He’s assured us he can’t actually read a speech because of his dyslexia. This was supposed to make him relatable to black voters. Seriously.)
There are probably a few liberals with dim senses of humor who still get a giggle out of it. The rest of us find it tiresome.
Well, whatever. This usually isn’t a problem for anyone except those who get fed this idiot-bait by the algorithm so that we can be assured Newsom’s social media team is still playing that one note. However, it becomes a little more problematic when 1) Newsom is picking a fight with the most important podcaster in America and 2) he’s doing it at the same time he’s not only soft-launching his presidential campaign, but where the gubernatorial campaign in his state might go so sideways that a Democrat doesn’t end up in the general election.
In yet another all-caps pseudo-Trumpian rant, one of Newsom’s team responded to Joe Rogan calling Newsom a “f***ing con man” by calling him “LITTLE GUY” and “TOO CHICKEN” to have him on his podcast.
This comes after establishment favorite Rep. Eric Swalwell was forced to quit both the gubernatorial race and Congress in the space of a week following sexual misconduct allegations. Since then, two Republicans have stayed at or near the top of California’s “jungle primary” for governor, in which only the top two candidates advance, regardless of party.
The untimely contretemps came after Rogan, a former California resident who left for Texas in 2020, said that “nobody wants President Newsom” during a recent podcast.
“Nobody believes in that guy. That guy’s a f***ing con man,” Rogan said in the clip. “I mean, everything he did in California, from trying to mandate vaccines for kids when it was totally unnecessary to being caught out in public without a mask and lying about the fact that he was outdoors.”
Newsom, Rogan said, was simply the kind of old-school political huckster who didn’t work in an era where voters seem more attuned to authenticity.
“He’s just a politician, just a stone-cold, narrative-driven politician, you know, and nobody thinks he’s a real human. Whether you like Trump or not, whether you think he’s corrupt or not, that’s a human being,” Rogan said. “With Newsom, you get like this construct, this cardboard cutout of a person.”
WARNING: The following video contains vulgar language that some viewers may find offensive.
Joe Rogan: “Nobody believes [Newsom] is a real person. Whether you like Trump or not, whether you think he’s corrupt, that’s a human being… With Newsom you’ve got like this construct, this cardboard cutout of a person.” pic.twitter.com/7uac1oNrvt
— Joe Rogan Podcast News (@joeroganhq) April 30, 2026
Newsom managed to show Rogan just how human he was by, uh, getting one of his pseudo-hip staffers to fire off one of those tiresome responses. Prepare thine eyes for an all-caps fusillade, reader:
JOE “LITTLE GUY” ROGAN IS TOO CHICKEN TO HAVE ME ON HIS FAILING PODCAST BECAUSE HE KNOW I’D CRUSH HIM, SO HE TAKES CHEAP SHOTS FROM THE PEANUT GALLERY AS HE GETS RELEGATED TO IRRELEVANCY. ALL TALK, NO ACTION. I’M READY WHEN YOU ARE, “LITTLE GUY.” OR KEEP HIDING!!!! — Governor GCN https://t.co/5JtafE9zE6
— Governor Newsom Press Office (@GovPressOffice) May 1, 2026
Not only is this coming from the press account of a guy who will be running for president — and we all remember how well showing up Rogan worked for Kamala, no? — but who is also a failed podcaster himself.
He’s also a failed governor, someone who inherited a state with a few glaring problems that could be fixed and a budget surplus to fix it, and plenty of possibilities given the growth in the tech sector in Silicon Valley. He’s erased that surplus, chased companies out of California, and fixed zero of the problems while creating more of them.
And while Newsom is term-limited, there’s the problem of the backlash to his leadership. California’s jungle primary is on June 2, and former Fox News personality Steve Hilton and Riverside County Sheriff Chad Bianco, both Republicans, have either been in or near the top two positions.
In case you don’t get the problem there, Thad Kousser, a political science professor at the University of California, San Diego, explained it to the Desert Sun: “The narrative of the governor’s race in 2026 has been the possibility that Democrats, even though they generally win in about 60% of the support in a November election, might be locked out of the top two because they have so many candidates, none of whom is really pulling away from the pack.”
The guy who was supposed to pull away was Eric Swalwell, and we all know what happened to him. So, you know, not a good start to things.
Currently, the Democratic alternatives to Bianco and Hilton are billionaire environmentalist nut job Tom Steyer, progressive firebrand and alleged spousal abuse aficionado Katie Porter, useless Biden administration functionary and current establishment favorite Xavier Becerra, undistinguished former Los Angeles Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa, and some guy named Matt Mahan who I’m assuming does something but probably isn’t worth looking up.
(All right, fine — he’s the mayor of San Jose, but I could have told you he was the lead child actor in “Air Bud: Golden Receiver” and unless you lived in San Jose or worked on the Mahan campaign, you wouldn’t know the difference, and neither do California voters from the looks of the polls.)
And herein lies the problem for Newsom: It’s not just that you have two Republicans and a cattle car full of Democrats, but that none of these Democrats are pointing and saying that they’re going to carry the Newsom mantle. That’s because it’s not a popular position. It’s how you get two Republicans at the head of the field despite a primary that encourages Democrats to pick a direction.
In this case, they’re all split, and none of the candidates want to say they’re going to continue what Newsom has built over eight years. That’s because nobody wants four more years of (to use Rogan’s term) a “con man” and “cardboard cutout of a person” not fixing problems at the same time Newsom wants four years in the White House.
His response? “LITTLE GUY” is “ALL TALK, NO ACTION,” all caps. Sure. I’m glad the rest of the jungle primary Democrats couldn’t be happier you decided to weigh in that way, and at just the right moment to boot.
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