Uh-oh, we’re in real trouble now: It seems that the man who God keeps in the news to make Ringo Starr and Joey Fatone feel a bit better about being the dead weight in legendary bands is now considering decamping from the United States — all because of that dastardly Donald Trump.
In an interview with The Guardian published on Friday, Art Garfunkel says he’s “thinking of leaving the country” because Trump is a meanie who takes over other countries, or whatever. Stop the presses, those presses that remain in operation.
For those of you who are millennials or younger — and I say this because, until I was about 10 and found out he performed the theme song for the tragically short-lived CBS sitcom “Brooklyn Bridge,” I actually assumed “Garfunkel” was the name of Paul Simon’s backing band, kind of like “The Attractions” for Elvis Costello — Art was part of a duo who soundtracked your parents’ early lives and/or “The Graduate.”
Simon then discovered he was talented and the two broke up creatively in 1970. They’ve reunited several times — although not to produce new music, but to run through the old hits in concert for some big bucks. Simon has gone on to produce classic albums like “Graceland” and “You’re the One,” while Garfunkel produced… uh, the theme song to “Brooklyn Bridge.” Also some other music not worth mentioning, and an acting career that’s equally missable.
If you really need a primer on the much lesser half of Simon and Garfunkel, most of the article will suffice to give you a short history of his perspective, and I won’t step on its toes.
I will say that there is one anecdote that is a great metaphor for Garfunkel’s post-1970 existence — in the midst of a bout of depression after professional setbacks and personal tragedies, he decided he was going to walk across Japan in 1982 for no good reason, but ended the attempt after 12 miles. He also blames the initial breakup with Paul Simon on his focus on his acting career. This is an excuse for the split that seems far less removed from that excuse your neighbor who insists he would have gotten a Division I football scholarship if it weren’t for him spraining his knee in the 8th grade keeps giving you, plausibility-wise, than it probably should.
So, fast forward to the end of the piece, and we are presented with two questions any Art Garfunkel profile in The Guardian must statutorily answer: First, will there be a reunion with Paul Simon? Second, what are your politics and why are they super-progressive?
As for the first, yes, he met Simon for dinner last year, but “he doesn’t wish to discuss the seemingly unlikely prospect of another tour together,” the British outlet said.
“You know what I think is more interesting? Walking from western Ireland to Istanbul,” Garfunkel told The Guardian. “But yes, we got together. Who knows what the future will bring? Life is a surprise. I don’t know what happens next month. I don’t know what happens after we die.”
Ah, life after death: A big issue. The Guardian wants us to know that “Garfunkel frets about big issues, such as global heating, the human race and those in power.” Smooth transition, there.
“I don’t like America’s position at all,” he said. “I’m not aboard, and I’m thinking of leaving the country, frankly.”
“It’s real that the planet is getting warmer, that the water’s rising, that so many people are starving,” he continued.
“When Donald Trump took over Venezuela, are those the new rules? Just take over a country and run it? It’s shocking, and you think: how on earth are we gonna change the presidency? But Trump won’t last forever. So we’ve got to hope.”
I suppose the good news for those of us who hope to keep this national treasure is that, unless he takes up residence in San Diego or El Paso, there’s no country he can walk to in the 12 miles it takes him before he gives up.
Aside from this, his opining is exactly the reason why we shouldn’t care what any musician thinks, politically, even if it were Paul Simon. (Sen. Paul Simon of Illinois might have been a different story, but he died in 2003. Also: probably more musically talented than Art Garfunkel, although he had better things to do with his life.)
So Art’s “not aboard” with the current administration. Even in the biggest electoral blowouts in American history, there’s at least 40 percent of the country that’s “not aboard” with the president.
Congrats. This is not an airport and you are not a pilot. You don’t have to announce your departure.
But why depart? Well, after all, “the planet is getting warmer, that the water’s rising, that so many people are starving.” Except it’s not getting warmer by much, the water isn’t rising by much either, and fewer people are starving than ever. But then, here’s a guy who thinks his acting career is why the guy who recorded “Graceland” ditched him. (For the love of Pete, even Simon is a better actor than him, as anyone who has seen “Annie Hall” will attest to. I cannot belabor enough the depths of the delusions this man apparently operates under, judging by this unintentionally hilarious interview.)
Garfunkel also seems to be about as much of an expert on Venezuela, apparently mistaking the Marco Rubio meme for real life:
Rubio realizing he’s going to be president of Venezuela, governor of Cuba, and the Shah of Iran. pic.twitter.com/wh5S2gpIi9
— Antonio García Martínez (agm.eth) (@antoniogm) January 3, 2026
What Trump did was remove a guy who literally decided to “take over a country and run it” — Nicolás Maduro, who had only been legitimately elected once and had since rigged every election to stay in power despite the fact that he was profoundly unpopular, had reduced his nation to a failed state which also facilitated narcotrafficking.
But then, I don’t expect Art Garfunkel to be a pundit. I expect him to be Art Garfunkel. He’s certainly entitled to his opinions, and — like any musician — we’re entitled to tell him to just shut up and sing if those opinions are useless, reflexive, and uninformed.
Or, in the case of Art Garfunkel, we’re entitled to tell him to just shut up, period. Have I mentioned that I think this guy lacks talent?
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