Good news, everyone: When Taylor Swift writes the breakup song about a “helmet-throwing” ex, at least we won’t have to speculate who she’s talking about.
Usually, the Swiftie brigade has to work pretty hard to figure out who TayTay is referring to in her breakup songs — which is to say, almost all of her songs. It’s like if Carly Simon’s entire catalogue was “You’re so Vain.” Any speculation equals press, and any press is good press in this horrible timeline. Just ask any random Kardashian.
That being said, Swift is talented — and so is her current future ex-boyfriend, Travis Kelce of the Kansas City Chiefs. For the fourth time in the last six seasons, the tight end, who just so happens to be the favorite target of Chiefs quarterback Patrick Mahomes, will be going back to the Super Bowl after his team upset the favored Baltimore Ravens in the AFC Championship, 17-10.
Kelce scored the game’s first touchdown, and totaled 11 catches for 116 yards Sunday, while breaking former wide receiver Jerry Rice’s record of 151 playoff receptions, according to ESPN. However, Kelce’s performance in the game might be a little overshadowed by what he did before it — which wasn’t quite as spectacular as his performance on the field.
According to CBS Sports, Ravens kicker Justin Tucker was stretching near the end zone in pre-game warm-ups. He had his kicking tee and football in front of him — and, as the outlet reported, he has a tendency to warm up on the opponent’s side of the field.
Kelce told Tucker that he needed to move in order for Mahomes to warm up, which Tucker was having none of. This transpired next:
Travis Kelce tossed Justin Tucker’s helmet out of the way so Mahomes could warm up
Tucker might bomb a 75yd FG today
— Barstool Sports (@barstoolsports) January 28, 2024
Kelce, apparently willing to take matters into his own hands, threw Tucker’s helmet and other equipment to drive home the point.
Tucker stayed on that side of the field, however. (Or, to invoke a different sort of contretemps between Mitch McConnell and Elizabeth Warren: Nevertheless, he persisted.) So, Mahomes himself got into the action:
Patrick Mahomes and Justin Tucker going at it pregame 😂. Mahomes keeps kicking Tuckers holder away. pic.twitter.com/KeqhYyle4t
— James Palmer (@JamesPalmerTV) January 28, 2024
Nor, in fact, was this the only chippy incident between the hometown Ravens and visiting Chiefs before the matchup:
Chiefs and Ravens exchanging some words on the field before kickoff. 👀 pic.twitter.com/eBCqrs4ru4
— NFL on CBS 🏈 (@NFLonCBS) January 28, 2024
🚨🚨BREAKING, FIGHT ALERT🚨🚨#Ravens and #Chiefs defensive backs were getting into it pregame, with some PUNCHES being thrown by Arthur Maulet.
👀👀
Baltimore is the 4.5-point favorite on @BovadaOfficial.
THIS HAS ALREADY BEEN CHIPPY
pic.twitter.com/jOHqkNMskS— MLFootball (@_MLFootball) January 28, 2024
This led to one fan wishing that this was “the prime-time game.”
This game should have been the prime-time game
— Southern introvert 92 (@Southernking601) January 28, 2024
Alas, that was somewhat inconvenient; the San Francisco 49ers had home-field advantage over the Detroit Lions in the NFC Championship, meaning that scheduling the NFC Championship as the second game would still have made more sense, considering it was on the West Coast.
However, for all the chippiness, the AFC Championship was a relative disappointment, at least in comparison to the NFC Championship. (Unless, of course, you really like cutaway shots to Taylor Swift.)
Do you think Kelce was wrong for this?
Despite being the betting underdog, the Chiefs mostly controlled a 17-10 game which wasn’t as close as it sounded.
Tucker — who is arguably one of the all-time kicking greats — didn’t go off for a 75-yard field goal as Barstool Sports suggested in its post; he did kick a relatively modest 43-yard field goal to get the Ravens within seven with just minutes to play, but Kansas City was able to run out the clock after Mahomes hooked up with Marquez Valdes-Scantling on a 32-yard clutch pass play on third and nine just before the two-minute warning.
Meanwhile, the San Francisco 49ers erased a 17-point deficit to beat the Detroit Lions 34-31, leading to a rematch of Super Bowl LIV and keeping the Lions as one of the four NFL teams (and only two that have been around since before the Super Bowl era) to never make the big game. (The Cleveland Browns, Jacksonville Jaguars and Houston Texans are the other three.)
So, yes, we get at least two more weeks of Travis Kelce and Taylor Swift coverage. We also might get a few barbs from the unvaccinated Aaron Rodgers, who’s nicknamed Kelce “Mr. Pfizer” for the tight end’s endorsement deal with the COVID-19 vaccine manufacturer.
And, if Taylor ever writes a breakup song with the lyrics “when you threw that helmet / I know you’d throw our love away,” we won’t have to guess too hard when it comes to who she’s singing about.
