“Puritanism,” journalist H.L. Mencken famously quipped, is “the haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.” A century later, Puritanism has surely been replaced by Progressivism, and the mirthless prigs in our progressive government are doing their best to stamp out joy.
God forbid anyone enjoy a light-hearted laugh as they trudge along on the daily treadmill of life. When you’re driving down the highway in late October, say, why should you enjoy a chuckle at a sign reminding you to “Make mummy happy, buckle up,” when you can instead be bleakly chided, “UNBUCKLED SEAT BELTS FINE + POINTS.”
Here comes the government to fix more problems we didn’t know we had. Policy wonks have been busy updating the rules, and now funny variable message signs (VMS) such as these must go from the wayside:
It’s the final day of Work Zone Awareness Week and we activated our variable message sign with one final message. Please be mindful of our crews in work zones, give them plenty of space, slow down and move over a lane when possible. You’ll be glad you did and so will we! pic.twitter.com/3KX7a7GCzF
— WSDOT East (@WSDOT_East) April 30, 2021
Is it possible for a state DOT’s variable message sign slogans to be *too* hip? JK, this is great.https://t.co/eDVt9Aihj6 @IDOT_Illinois
— John Greenfield (@greenfieldjohn) October 3, 2019
Variable-message sign be a little extra this weekend 🤣 #California 99 pic.twitter.com/xlFiC21QRs
— Esmeralda Hernandez (@esme_hi5) June 30, 2023
The AP listed more examples of roadside groaners that will soon be illegal:
- “Use Yah Blinkah” in Massachusetts
- “Visiting in-laws? Slow down, get there late,” from Ohio
- “Don’t drive Star Spangled Hammered,” from Pennsylvania
- “Hocus pocus, drive with focus” from New Jersey
- “Hands on the wheel, not your meal” from Arizona.
This latest exercise in state-mandated buzzkill comes to us courtesy of the Federal Highway Administration (FHWA), a division of Pete Buttigieg’s U.S. Dept. of Transportation. These humorless busybodies have taken time out from correcting racist roads to crack down on entertaining roadside signage. They’ve given officials two years to get with the program and stop programming laughs for passing motorists.
The Wall Street Journal reports:
In December, the Federal Highway Administration, an agency within the U.S. Department of Transportation, issued new guidance on traffic-safety messages: Signs should avoid language that uses pop-culture references or humor.
Federal officials said funny signs can distract drivers.
The feds want to remind the funny sign-writers that VMSs are there to relay important, timely traffic information, PERIOD.
The Federal Highway Administration lays out its position in the newest edition of a 1,100-plus page Manual on Uniform Traffic Control Devices. Flipping to page 519 finds guidance stating humorous signs “might be misunderstood or understood only by a limited segment of road users.” They could also require more time to understand, the manual said.
“The Manual on Uniform Traffic Control Devices is a vitally important guidebook that affects safety on countless roads around the country,” U.S. Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg stated regarding the revised manual. “With this long-awaited update to the MUTCD, we are helping our state and local partners make it safer to walk, bike, and drive, and embracing new technologies with the potential to make our transportation system safer and more efficient.” Only leftists could go out of their way to appoint a gay man to head up an agency and still wind up with a dour square.
One’s heart breaks for funny DOT sign writers, such as those in Arizona. They clearly take great joy in their dad-joke traffic messages. The department’s social media accounts are full of funny traffic signs. They even produced a video retrospective of their holiday signage, which they posted on their Instagram account:
“Arizona has more than 300 electronic signs above its highways,” AP notes. “For the last seven years, the state Department of Transportation has held a contest to find the funniest and most creative messages.”
“Anyone could submit ideas, drawing more than 3,700 entries last year. The winners were ‘Seatbelts always pass a vibe check’ and ‘I’m just a sign asking drivers to use turn signals.'”
Serious question: When was the last time you saw a leftist actually laugh? I can’t think of a single instance. The closest they come is a sort of righteous bark, often accompanied by applause and whoops of approval, when a so-called comedian bashes a political or cultural figure of whom they disapprove, or a drag performer does something ostentatiously obscene. But humor — truly witty, comedic, laughter-provoking delight — is a lost art to these people.
“On December 19, 2023, a Final Rule adopting the 11th Edition of the MUTCD was published in the Federal Register with an effective date of January 18, 2024,” the FHWA informs state and local traffic officials. “States must adopt the 11th Edition of the National MUTCD as their legal State standard for traffic control devices within two years from the effective date.” Laugh while ya can, folks.