In the latest video that the White House doesn’t want you to see, Presidentish Joe Biden is seen Monday walking it off after banging his head on the doorway of his Marine One personal transport helicopter.
It isn’t a big deal, I swear, and it’s been my job for more than 20 years now to gleefully mock the foibles and pitfalls of the rich and powerful. That goes double for figures like Biden, who grew rich without ever having created any goods or provided any valuable services in the private sector and who grew powerful despite a political career defined by lies, gaffes, and cheap demagoguery than any accomplishments.
So let’s watch the clip anyway before we get to the good stuff.
That’s not even gonna leave a mark. “Why then,” I can hear you ask through the magic of internet-enhanced telepathy, “are we watching a video of the president lightly bonking his skull on the door of Marine One?”
The first reason is because it fits the narrative of Biden being old and increasingly clumsy. It seems like Biden hadn’t even been in office for two months [Steve, Biden hadn’t been in office for even two months —editor] when he tripped up the stairs of Air Force One not once but three times in one, ah, trip.
A bon voyage, that was not.
Since then, Biden has fallen repeatedly, he wanders around looking lost after delivering remarks (usually poorly), and he tries to shake hands with people who aren’t there.
The second reason is so schadenfreudelicious that it’s smothered in a red wine cream sauce lightly seasoned with two dashes of evil laughter.
Unlike the alleged President of the United States being unable to peg the death of his eldest son to within a range of years, you and I probably remember last week pretty clearly — or at least the highlights.
One of those highlights — if that’s the correct word — was the release of the just-alluded-to report on Biden’s mishandling of classified documents. Special Counsel Robert K. Hur found, in part, that it was pointless to try and prosecute Biden because a jury would be too sympathetic to convict a “well-meaning, elderly man with a poor memory.”
The report was so damning that the White House decided that changing Hur’s narrative was worth the risk of putting Biden out in front of reporters, where he proceeded to present himself as an angry, elderly man with a poor memory.
Narrative un-reset, the White House decided to go to Twitter and lean hard on Dark Biden memes. They even got Biden to sign up for a TikTok account — despite the well-known security risks — because TikTok is where all the young hepcats hang out these days.
Some improvement, eh?
Every time the White House tries to change the narrative that Biden is an increasingly senescent elderly man with a growing temper, he goes out and does something that makes him look like an increasingly senescent elderly man with a growing temper. Because that’s what he is.
Age gets to all of us if we’re lucky enough to live that long. But only 45 men have ever served as President, none have been as old as Joe Biden, and the only one who was more frail was Woodrow Wilson — after Wilson suffered a completely debilitating stroke.
I spend my workdays wondering if that’s more sad than frightening or the other way around.
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