Legendary action movie star Arnold Schwarzenegger was detained at an airport in Munich, Germany this week for an alleged tax problem, according to reports from NBC News. Guess that means his trip was prematurely “terminated,” wink, wink. Oh man, there are about a million-and-a-half of these lame dad jokes I can make about Arnold. Consider that your warning for reading on.
“Criminal tax proceedings have been initiated by us,” Munich customs office spokesman Thomas Meister said to members of the press working with RTL, a broadcaster in Germany. “This will then be processed by our criminal and fines office.”
I know what you’re probably thinking. For Schwarzenegger to be detained, this has to be big and juicy. You would be wrong, however, as it seems this whole debacle has to do with what is being called a “luxury watch.” I guess that means he didn’t buy it at the jewelry center at Walmart. What, exactly, makes a regular watch different from a “luxury watch”? How does one come up with a set of characteristics by which to judge the status of a watch?
So the problem centers around The “Terminator” star bringing the watch into the country as he was on his way to a charity event hosted in his homeland of Austria. At least that’s what an unnamed source “close to Schwarzenegger” said. The same individual also revealed that the actor fully cooperated with the authorities, though the person did not hesitate to slap some serious criticism on German officials, referring to them as “incompetent.”
“He cooperated at every step even though it was an incompetent shakedown, a total comedy of errors that would make a very funny cop movie,” the individual told reporters for NBC.
The detainment, which reportedly lasted two-and-a-half hours, did not lead to the resolution of the issue, despite the full cooperation of the actor. Guess that means “he’ll be back.” Add another wink.
“It’s too early to say what the outcome will be,” Meister remarked about the situation. “There are many factors that have to be taken into account. It will still take some time.”
I wonder what was going through Arnold’s mind while he was being detained? Did he try and concoct some daring escape where he goes full Jack Slater and knocks dudes out by making references to the elbow of his jacket? If you get that reference, you’re no doubt a fan of the man’s work. Or was he more docile and chill, like a character from one of his comedies? You know, like the dude he played in “Twins” or something?
“The source close to Schwarzenegger said he agreed to prepay any taxes on the expensive item, but couldn’t find a working credit card machine,” NBC stated in its report. “Officers then walked him to an ATM at the airport to withdraw cash — but the withdrawal limit was too low and the bank was closed, the source said. A second credit card machine worked and the tax was paid.”
The charity event was held in Kitzbuhel and featured a dinner and auction to raise money for some sort of climate organization of Schwarzenegger’s.
“The watch will likely still be auctioned tomorrow, and the Schwarzenegger Climate Initiative will properly report it, as all of Arnold’s nonprofits do,” the source close to Schwarzenegger said in their comments to NBC.
The money raised from the event, which Arnold is supposed to host, would go toward various environmental projects, which, I guess, means that the T-800 is not really a gnarly cybernetic organism sent from the future to kill John Connor, the leader of the human resistance, but just another liberal treehugger. That’s truly disappointing.