Happy Friday, Gentle Readers,
There is an old Chinese curse: “May you live in interesting times.” Well, the times are interesting, much the same way people slow down to look at a traffic accident and find it interesting, but they are interesting times, nonetheless.
This week, we saw further evidence of decay blossoming like chicken pox across the body of America. Between the Supreme Court’s razor wire ruling and Kari Lake’s revelations, not to mention Seattle’s decision to hand out cash awards (bonuses?) to the 2020 rioters, I think I’m going to start marketing a line of “crisis-of-the-day” toilet paper.
Looking for love in all the wrong places
After receiving an outpouring of support from New Hampshire Democrats, somewhat presidential hopeful Nikki Haley is making all sorts of new friends. Granted, some of those friends were expected, like Adam Kinzinger and Liz Cheney. Others weren’t so much, like Joy Behar. But since Haley has not yet begun to fight, she has to take the wins where she can. One of those wins came from Kinzinger, who ponied up all of $250 to keep hope alive for Haley.
I just donated $250 to @NikkiHaley, I want to make sure I am never invited to that cheap and awful S-hole club called Mar-A-Lago. I don’t want to catch weak victimitis.
I’m Thankful that sweaty Don gave us a way to ban ourselves. pic.twitter.com/fBjyVCJPio
— Adam Kinzinger (Slava Ukraini) 🇺🇸🇺🇦🇮🇱 (@AdamKinzinger) January 25, 2024
I’m just spitballing here, but I don’t think Kinzinger was ever going to end up on the Mar-a-Lago guest list. I’d hold off on getting that tux pressed, bro.
Liz Cheney, who, by all accounts, has not accepted the fact that she lost her election, is also riding the Haley Train:
NEW: “What we watched [Trump] do in the lead up to January 6, his attempt to seize power, presents an existential threat…And right now, Nikki Haley is in this fight [to keep Trump out of office] and I think she ought to stay in it.” —Rep @Liz_Cheney
Full interview out tomorrow pic.twitter.com/vTSwAk64Bu
— Pod Save America (@PodSaveAmerica) January 25, 2024
Finally, there is this ringing endorsement:
The View’s Joy Behar confesses that she likes neocon Nikki Haley.
Are you surprised?
“At least she [Haley] won’t be governing from cell block 11,” Behar said, implying that Trump is going to prison.
“The woman is like serving a purpose the way Chris Christie was serving a… pic.twitter.com/7SF7ssfj9P
— The Vigilant Fox 🦊 (@VigilantFox) January 25, 2024
Haley should take notes. Once she is done serving her purpose, the Left will have no further use for her. Kind of like Liz Cheney.
Sorry, no refunds
I don’t click on stories about Taylor Swift, no matter how desperate I may be to find a topic for a column. But during a particularly long meeting at my other job, I accidentally pulled up one while scrolling on my phone. Usually, I would have uttered an NSFW comment and kept going, but this one turned out to be worth reading.
As you know, Swift is the NFL’s MVP and will probably be featured in the Pro Bowl this year. As I understand it, she has also discovered fire, formulated a plan for world peace, and is possibly starting her own religion.
But the New York Post reports that Swifties are up in arms because her merch store is sending subpar tchotchkes to the slavering fanbase. The memorabilia is arriving late or not at all, or damaged. Snow globes have been broken, sweaters are unraveling, and other merchandise calamities have ensued.
This, of course, is one of the most dire crises of our time. It also has Swift’s legion of fans clamoring for justice and refunds. But what caught my eye was the following paragraphs. I had to read them twice just to be sure that the words were uttered by an adult:
Grace Green, a 32-year-old Swiftie living in Arizona who has been a fan since Swift’s debut album came out in 2006, placed orders for 22 items on the site last year, collectively totaling $1,044.75, she told The Post.
Green defended the splurge as “a desperate, mad attempt to get everything at once,” noting that products across the site quickly sell out. “Your adrenaline races, your palms sweat, you add an item to the cart, and by the time you click ‘check out,’ the site tells you that the item is no longer in stock.”
A “desperate, mad attempt to get everything at once?” Sweaty palms? Racing adrenaline? The potential of missing out on the sale of mass-produced, cheaply made Taylor Swift crap induces panic attacks? If this is an example of our priorities, no wonder the country is on the precipice of doom. Ladies and gentlemen, the adults have left the building.
If Swift’s fans are this devoted, then it would appear that multiple interventions are in order. We seem to be facing unprecedented levels of national derangement. And what will Green do with all of this junk? Will she open the Arizona Branch of the Taylor Swift Institute for Pop Studies? Will she build an altar for her daily devotions? Or will she leave it all to some poor, unsuspecting child or grandchild in her will?
Swift will one day go the way of Madonna, and a collection of Swift memorabilia will make for one sad estate sale. I have collected my share of junk over the years, but in my defense, some of it is pretty unique. It’s junk, but it’s classy junk. As erudite as I may think I am when I survey my belongings, I am under no illusions that when our children and grandchildren read our will and clean out our home, all of my unique, classy junk will either be sold at a yard sale for 25 cents a pop or end up in a dumpster. Such is the fate of all things.
On the other hand, there is a chance all of this stuff is going be resold on eBay and Facebook. And how much can you get for a broken snow globe? I suppose we should be thankful that we still live in a country where someone has so little about which to worry that damaged Taylor Swift merchandise constitutes a crisis. At least, that’s what I’m going to tell myself.
Wine recommendation
Because after a week like this, you need a drink to help you shake it off. (See what I did there? I’m sorry. I’ll see myself out.)
Last week, I told you about Chester Pinot Noir. Aside from making a pretty decent Pinot, the winemaker also donates a portion of each sale to animal rescue efforts, including abandoned and neglected horses. This time around, I sampled the Chester Sauvignon Blanc.
The Pinot Noir was a solid red, but this bottle of Sauvignon Blanc exceeded my expectations. It starts strong right out of the gate and finishes up high toward the sinuses. There is a decent shot of citrus and a little cut grass in the flavor. It is bright and crisp, with just the right amount of bite, and one could even describe it as refreshing.
No, you probably shouldn’t replace the water in your Stanley with it, and it likely won’t replace Gatorade on a hot summer day, but this is a perfect wine to go with salmon, shrimp, or a Caesar Salad. It would also pair nicely with a charcuterie board or some cold appetizers.
That’s it for me. Have a great weekend, and I’ll see you next time.