Top O’ the Briefing
Happy Wednesday, dear Kruiser Morning Briefing friends. Ganrumiith had a nagging fear that his uncanny knowledge of “Alf” trivia would one day be misconstrued in couples’ therapy.
The first bit of news that I consumed yesterday was the eerie and disturbing video of the ship hitting the bridge in Baltimore. The coffee hadn’t kicked in yet, so I just kept watching it and marveling at how consistently crappy and tragic everything is these days.
My good friend Kevin Downey Jr. must have been feeling my vibe from across the country, because he wrote something about the you-know-what show we see all around us.
As I settled in for what I expected to be extra helpings of bleakness in the news cycle, I saw the news about Robert F. Kennedy Jr. picking a running mate.
Our long national waiting nightmare was over.
While full of drama, the 2024 presidential election primary season has been light on surprises and distracting side stories. Since the Democrats weren’t debating this year, we didn’t get to enjoy hearing Marianne Williamson go into great detail about how her foreign policy initiatives would be carried out by Celtic fairies bearing elderflower tea and sustainably sourced vegan bon-bons.
RFK Jr. has provided a bit of a sideshow these past several months. The Democrats have obviously been freaked out by his presence in the race. He may not be mainstream, but he’s still a Kennedy. Who knows how many dead Chicagoans will reflexively vote for just the name, right?
At a mere 70 years old, Kennedy is the diaper-wearing whippersnapper in the 2024 race. His prostate is barely big enough to even be at the table.
Because nothing is allowed to make sense anymore, there was a curious amount of talk in center-right circles about whether Donald Trump should pick RFK Jr. as his running mate. I’m hoping those people were concussed and are feeling better now.
Kennedy had captured the fancy of some libertarians and conservatives because of his very vocal skepticism about the COVID-19 vaccines. On pretty much every other issue, however, RFK Jr. is on the far-left fringes of the universe.
Which brings us to his running mate. Matt covered the story yesterday:
Speculation can finally end as sources reveal that Robert F. Kennedy Jr. has selected Nicole Shanahan, a California attorney, as his vice presidential candidate for his campaign.
In addition to being an attorney, Shanahan, 38, runs a foundation dedicated to left-wing causes like abortion rights, criminal justice reform, and fighting climate change.
Shanahan’s political donation history gets worse, as Matt chronicles in his post. Suffice it to say that RFK Jr. didn’t seem to be interested in siphoning off any Republican votes with this pick.
Some may wonder why Kennedy didn’t pick a running mate with greater name recognition. He’s already got the greatest name recognition in American politics; he didn’t really need a boost in that department.
I just hope that Kennedy continues to be a mild source of dyspepsia for the Biden administration. If there is an angle for him to become a major source, then godspeed.
Somewhere in the distance, Marianne Williamson communes with hummingbirds at the feeder.
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Everything Isn’t Awful
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SFK of the Day
NBC News Division Cretins Are So Awful That They’re Almost Making Me Like Ronna McDaniel
“When you’re not worried about profits, ratings, or a scintilla of accountability, you can do things like give Joy Reid her own show. Reid is perhaps the dumbest woman who has ever sat in front of a television camera outside of the studio of “The View.” Her presence alone makes any uproar about Ronna McDaniel and integrity laughable.”
Shot of Vodka
Kamala Harris Is Back in ‘The Border Czar Returns Again Part II: Electric Fence Boogaloo’
“This is not rocket surgery, folks.
The root cause of our border crisis is simpler than falling off a boat and hitting water.
For all of our country’s metastasizing political and cultural issues, it’s the still best got-dam place in the world. In comparison, the countries to the south of us are largely the s***hole places that Donald Trump warned us about. People down there want to come up here — and who could blame them?”
PJ Media
VodkaPundit. Let’s Face It: the Hostages Are Probably Dead
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Townhall Mothership
Commie diapers were filled. NBC News Dumps Ronna McDaniel After Staff Revolt
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Blue State AGs Gang Up on Glock in Effort to Impose Backdoor Gun Ban
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The ‘Chris Cuomo Goes on Extremely Salty Rant Against Mika and Joe’ Moment You’ve Been Waiting For
AP Gives Us a Biography of ‘Controversial Figure’ Francis Scott Key
MSNBC’s Joy Reid Gives Examples of Republicans She’d Welcome; Guess Who
Carol Roth DEMOLISHES the Biden Administration’s Lies About the Reality of Income Tax Rates
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No Hippy, You Aren’t Entitled to a Fast-Food ‘Living Wage’
Israel Can’t End the War. Only Hamas Can, but It Won’t.
A Bridge Too Far From East Palestine
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Around the Interwebz
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Bee Me
Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg Holds Emergency Press Conference To Announce He Is Taking 3 More Months Maternity Leave https://t.co/WRtNSvz2T1 pic.twitter.com/nsD4lNAMIO
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