Beyond the baskets, Easter was historically not a time for giving gifts. At least, not big ones. When I was little, I got a Matchbox car and a toy knight one year. But for the most part, you get eggs, chocolate, and jellybeans. Or some variation on those themes. Lately, it seems like gifts are a bigger and bigger part of the holiday. My daughter gives our grandchildren Easter gifts, and to be honest, we did too, when they lived nearby. But that is the purview of grandparents. My favorite tactic was to buy them both the noisiest toys I could find, load them up on sugar, and give them back to their mother. If you have never done that, take my advice and try it. The results are hilarious.
Of course, this being the Easter season, a Bible always makes a nice gift. But which version? The KJV? NKJV? ESV? NIV? NASB? RSV?
How about the DJT?
No, really. The official Trump-endorsed “God Bless the USA Bible” is for sale here. It would make the perfect Easter gift for the “MAGA Republican” (thanks, Joe) in your life, or you can always slip one into the basket of your favorite purple-haired, eyebrow-pierced cousin just to watch them spill their Peeps all over their Easter ham. Of course, they are probably vegan, so they won’t even eat the potatoes au gratin. And if they jump up, shriek, and run out of the room, everyone will have a happier Easter. You may want to get two or three.
Trump announced the Bible’s debut today on Truth Social:
As the name suggests, the Bible is inspired by Lee Greenwood’s iconic song, which has become a standard at Trump rallies. And it was created with his endorsement. It is leather-bound and one of the slim Bibles that have become popular in recent years. It features large print and gold edges. I know you are wondering, and before you ask, there is no such thing as DJT translation. It is the King James Version. Although I am sure a DJT translation would be of biblical proportions. Maybe even yuge.
The God Bless the USA Bible also has copies of the Constitution, the Declaration of Independence, the Pledge of Allegiance, and a handwritten chorus of the Greenwood song. It sells for $59.99, which includes shipping and handling.
The announcement has fueled speculation on the Left that Trump is using this as a way to boost his campaign war chest and meet his legal bills. They apparently missed the news about Truth Social’s stock taking off on the first day of trading, giving Trump’s net worth a shot in the arm. But regarding the topic of profit, the site has this to say:
IS ANY OF THE MONEY FROM THIS BIBLE GOING TO THE DONALD J. TRUMP CAMPAIGN FOR PRESIDENT?
No, GodBlessTheUSABible.com is not political and has nothing to do with any political campaign. GodBlessTheUSABible.com is not owned, managed, or controlled by Donald J. Trump, The Trump Organization, CIC Ventures LLC, or any of their respective principals or affiliates.
GodBlessTheUSABible.com uses Donald J. Trump’s name, likeness, and image under paid license from CIC Ventures LLC, which license may be terminated or revoked according to its terms.
So Trump is making some bank, but likely not enough to cover his lawyer fees. The orders ship within four to six weeks, so it’s too late for an Easter order. But you know, as a former religion major, it never hurts to have an extra Bible or two around, if for no other reason than to compare translations. And if that blue-haired cousin calls you a Christian nationalist, don’t let it get to you. They would have called you that, anyway.