In a party where there is no de facto front-runner two years away from a presidential election, everybody with any kind of profile and some sort of ambition is pretty much a runner, if not at the front.
This is why Democratic Sen. Chris Van Hollen of Maryland is making a rather visible buffoon of himself to objective nonpartisan (or conservative, alternatively) observers: He needs to raise his visibility for the long-shot presidential run he’s obviously preparing himself for. (He refuses to give a yes-or-no answer on whether he’s prepping a run, which is a great way to answer in the affirmative without actually saying those words.)
Which, fine. Respect the hustle. But then don’t call someone an alcoholic in a hearing after you’ve been slinging margaritas in El Salvador on the taxpayer dollar with a convicted gang-banging rapist. As Sen. Van Hollen found out when he accused FBI Director Kash Patel of being an alcoholic, only for Patel to note (rather accurately) that “the only person that was slinging margaritas in El Salvador on the taxpayer dollar with a convicted gang-banging rapist was you.”
That’s probably not going to look too good in 2028 ads. Just saying.
Patel appeared Tuesday before the Senate Appropriations subcommittee, which was ostensibly to talk about the FBI’s budget. That’s not interesting and doesn’t generate donor clips, however, so Sen. Van Hollen decided to go for the clicky-clickies and ask Patel about his alcohol use.
This mostly references a series of articles in The Atlantic relying on a handful of anonymous sources whose position (and thus, potential animuses against Patel) was withheld but claimed, in rather vague terms, that there had been concern about his drinking in the federal government apparatus.
Patel is suing The Atlantic for $250 million in libel damages, and for the moment, the number of pieces with vague sourcing about Patel and booze that the liberal outlet is churning out has diminished into a trickle of farce. But I digress, because my opinions about the grist that The Atlantic is providing is less newsworthy than the grist mill of innuendo Sen. Van Hollen seemed to be running Tuesday.
“Director Patel, these reports about your conduct, including reports of your being so drunk and hungover that your staff had to force entry into your home, are extremely alarming,” Van Hollen said.
This is referencing the most substantive, if also still mostly unsubstantiated, claim from The Atlantic that Patel was once unable to be roused, and “breaching equipment” had to be used to enter his house. Again, this is what the kids like to call “big if true,” with that “if” in bolded italics.
Patel responded that “it’s a total farce. I don’t even know where you get this stuff, but it doesn’t make it credible, because you say so.” After Van Hollen noted The Atlantic report, Patel shot back and reminded everyone about Van Hollen’s infamous photo op with Kilmar Abrego Garcia, the alleged MS-13 member who was deported to El Salvador’s CECOT; Van Hollen traveled down there to share a drink with him. (It’s worth noting that gang affiliation and allegations of sexual misconduct are all alleged, but a judge had ruled Abrego Garcia deportable — just not to El Salvador.)
https://t.co/RGffZspje3 pic.twitter.com/JwG9Tewz3A
— Rapid Response 47 (@RapidResponse47) May 13, 2026
Van Hollen, it’s worth noting, gave an excuse which was right up there with “I didn’t inhale.”
Glasses were placed in front of us but we did not drink them. I know that may be a confusing concept for Director Patel. https://t.co/ZTYfTb4CZJ
— Senator Chris Van Hollen (@ChrisVanHollen) May 13, 2026
Yeah — because when I’ve just flown a few thousand miles on the taxpayer dime to see a deported illegal, you know what I would like as a photo prop, if I were Van Hollen’s PR guy? Margaritas. Nothing drives home the point that this man is facing unnecessary and unlawful privation like a fruity cocktail to set the scene.
It also turns out — surprise! — this wasn’t the only evidence of bibulousness Van Hollen had left behind.
“The only person that ran up a $7,000 bar tab in Washington, D.C., and the Lobby [Bar] was you,” Patel said. “This is the ultimate example of hypocrisy.”
🚨 FBI Director Kash Patel just went APESH*T on serial liar Sen. Chris Van Hollen (D), who tried smearing him as an alcoholic 🤡
“The only person slinging MARGARITAS in El Salvador on the taxpayer dollar with a convicted gang banger r*pist WAS YOU!” 🔥
“The only one in this… pic.twitter.com/nEeealeduB
— Tony Seruga (@TonySeruga) May 12, 2026
Also, here’s that receipt from the Lobby Bar, just to give you an insight:
Fact check @ChrisVanHollen ⬇️ pic.twitter.com/mFMW04Rsso
— FBI Director Kash Patel (@FBIDirectorKash) May 12, 2026
Now, does this mean that Van Hollen is a dipsomaniac? Not really, but that’s hard evidence of it — not Atlantic reports that basically boil down to some version of “my best friend’s sister’s boyfriend’s brother’s girlfriend heard from this guy who knows this kid who’s going with a girl who saw Kash Patel pass out at 31 Flavors last night. I guess it’s pretty serious.”
“You are a disgrace, Mr. Director,” Van Hollen said at the end of the hearing, according to The New York Times. Why, Sen. Van Hollen? Because he allowed you to fall into a trap of his own making? If that’s the case, a 2028 long-shot you will remain, and a long-shot who stays there will soon be a dropout. Remember Proverbs 26:27: “If a man digs a deep hole as a trap, he will fall into it himself.” You did Tuesday, likely not for the last time.
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