One of the nastier nicknames for California Gov. Gavin Newsom is “Patrick Bateman.” He’s the thoroughly amoral yuppie protagonist of the novel and film “American Psycho.”
The reason is that Gavin bears more than a slight resemblance to him morally and a massive resemblance to the Christian Bale portrayal in the 1999 film version. Of the least of the fictional Mr. Bateman’s sins is that he’s a frequent user of recreational drugs, especially cocaine. He also likes killing people in sickeningly innovative ways.
Newsom’s thoroughly weird social media team, inexplicably, has tried to lean into this comparison, including with this tone-deaf X post in March:
For so many years people have been saying that Patrick Bateman and I look alike. Now this pic has been going all over the place. What do you think? pic.twitter.com/K5j4vKNzUL
— Gavin Newsom (@GavinNewsom) March 24, 2026
“Gavin 2028: You Like Huey Lewis and the News?”
Anyhow, despite the fact that Gavin has a bit of history with certain substances, it’s generally around his use of alcohol. That’ll come out in time, but nobody’s ever talked about his use of other drugs, mostly because that’s not been on the radar of many people.
Well, it is now, and let me tell you: His embrace of that “Patrick Bateman” comparison is starting to make a bit more sense.
The context: Last week, Trump said regarding Newsom that “we should give him a cognitive test,” adding he was “the only president to take a cognitive test.”
“Bragging about being the only president repeatedly asked to take a cognitive test …” Newsom responded from his social media account. “Right.”
Bragging about being the only president repeatedly asked to take a cognitive test…
Right. https://t.co/WnwENv8Vum
— Governor Gavin Newsom (@CAgovernor) May 2, 2026
To which someone responded with another clip of Newsom from late 2024, just before the election. It’s less what he’s talking about — the infamous Des Moines Register outlier poll that had Kamala Harris up in Iowa, where she lost huge, Trump’s Madison Square Garden rally, etc. — and more how he’s talking. Or rather, moving:
Forget a cognitive test. Gavin Newsom needs to be drug tested immediately https://t.co/2bJqEFlILk pic.twitter.com/wF4tnfPATA
— Kevin Dalton (@TheKevinDalton) May 2, 2026
Those of you who have had the misfortune of being around people who have used substances which are white and snorted, say, will recognize this kind of odd movement — as, indeed, has Mr. Dalton on X previously:
What causes Gavin Newsom to move like this? pic.twitter.com/QoxefWkCc8
— Kevin Dalton (@TheKevinDalton) February 20, 2026
What causes Gavin Newsom to move like this? pic.twitter.com/wBZUAQvpbX
— Kevin Dalton (@TheKevinDalton) April 22, 2026
What causes Gavin Newsom to move like this? pic.twitter.com/rqid5sPhs1
— Kevin Dalton (@TheKevinDalton) May 3, 2026
Now, I am not an addiction counselor, and have (thank God) never run into many people using the substance in my life, although when you live in or around New York City for any length of time, you will definitely run into someone who’s been medicated with something you yourself would never take. At least, not if you’re not Patrick Bateman.
Also, this is dispositive of nothing, and it’s entirely possible (probable, even) that the man is stone sober, or this is just what the food at the French Laundry does to a person. Whatever. But you can’t throw stones around and then call everyone else irresponsible for pointing out the damage to your glass house.
Gavin has plenty of personal baggage, including — yes — with substances, and it’s not unfair for us to assume that more baggage is going to get added to the Newsom train as it rolls along toward 2028. This isn’t Mike Huckabee we’re talking about: Nobody, least of all Gov. Newsom, is going to claim he’s led the life of a monk or a Christian missionary. He’s an oleaginous rich failson-turned-wine-magnate-turned-politician who’s fallen upward despite both personal and professional failures of every sort, usually aided by money.
Then he takes aim at a two-term president for being cognitively impaired despite claiming he can’t read a speech, and he also looks curiously like a guy who might have a bit of a Patrick Bateman problem — the kind that involves nasal mucosal tissues, not dead bodies. I mean, that’s the good news out of this, right?
Other than that, this is the kind of dim incaution — combined with plenty of clip-worthy ammo that can be used to fire back at him — that’s going to end up making Gavin 2028 a difficult proposition for the Democrats.
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